she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
