I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
