Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
