My first STD was from a foam party
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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