Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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