hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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