Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Its about making memories worth repressing

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  (818): Its about making memories worth repressing http://tfl.nu/5fiw
  Replies (1) Good night (2730) Bad night (596)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.

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  (905): 9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey. http://tfl.nu/esjs
  Replies (17) Good night (714) Bad night (5125)
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  (914): View more from New York

  you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds

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  (914): you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds http://tfl.nu/u8pq
  Replies (36) Good night (6306) Bad night (997)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.

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  (469): I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over. http://tfl.nu/vab8
  Replies (13) Good night (907) Bad night (3934)
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  (753): View more from

  He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.

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  (753): He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means. http://tfl.nu/ooa4
  Replies (4) Good night (1747) Bad night (778)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.

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  (802): Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets. http://tfl.nu/f9nv
  Replies (6) Good night (1250) Bad night (2516)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth

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  (915): In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth http://tfl.nu/jkpl
  Replies (5) Good night (1780) Bad night (593)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that

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  (406): She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that http://tfl.nu/d627
  Replies (4) Good night (1846) Bad night (573)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.

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  (503): All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over. http://tfl.nu/hufa
  Replies (21) Good night (2686) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome

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  (832): Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome http://tfl.nu/hrea
  Replies (3) Good night (2489) Bad night (524)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer

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  (724): you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer http://tfl.nu/1l7a
  Replies (4) Good night (2109) Bad night (482)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time

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  (603): You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time http://tfl.nu/9oit
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (243)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me

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  (306): I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me http://tfl.nu/ybnl
  Replies (3) Good night (231) Bad night (692)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.

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  (902): I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken. http://tfl.nu/cx45
  Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after

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  (602): I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after http://tfl.nu/x9h9
  Replies (0) Good night (399) Bad night (254)

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