he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo