Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it