I'm going to rape someone's good day.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
