i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
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New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
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I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.