Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?

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(503): what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage? http://tfl.nu/3y3m

Replies (35) Good night (780) Bad night (3445)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!

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(303): Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties! http://tfl.nu/mly2

Replies (12) Good night (844) Bad night (4674)
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(214): View more from Texas

It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.

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(214): It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire. http://tfl.nu/v2n0

Replies (19) Good night (5390) Bad night (1454)
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(850): View more from Florida

So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.

(850): View more from Florida

I guess we all know what he was cookin.

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(850): So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines. (850): I guess we all know what he was cookin. http://tfl.nu/lvcl

Replies (15) Good night (1119) Bad night (3911)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"

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(651): I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated" http://tfl.nu/zfhg

Replies (29) Good night (1590) Bad night (8748)
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(213): View more from California

How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.

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(213): How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know. http://tfl.nu/sm0x

Replies (15) Good night (3757) Bad night (849)
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(614): View more from Ohio

just got booed by the entire restaurant.

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(614): just got booed by the entire restaurant. http://tfl.nu/m1gn

Replies (10) Good night (938) Bad night (3882)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.

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(908): so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills. http://tfl.nu/ed0l

Replies (7) Good night (3078) Bad night (778)
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(207): View more from Maine

Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?

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(207): Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!? http://tfl.nu/bzp6

Replies (10) Good night (1835) Bad night (905)
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(913): View more from Kansas

He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.

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(913): He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman. http://tfl.nu/kv33

Replies (7) Good night (766) Bad night (1580)
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(361): View more from Texas

I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.

(1-361): View more from Texas

Ew! He's just a child!

(361): View more from Texas

AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.

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(361): I'm okay with corrupting his young mind. (1-361): Ew! He's just a child! (361): AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE. http://tfl.nu/exs0

Replies (46) Good night (3986) Bad night (1978)
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(210): View more from Texas

he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again

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(210): he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again http://tfl.nu/vgv1

Replies (1) Good night (1183) Bad night (830)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed

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(307): Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed http://tfl.nu/7csc

Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (243)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.

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(513): Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth. http://tfl.nu/s6hy

Replies (5) Good night (1788) Bad night (362)
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(954): View more from Florida

How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?

(1-954): View more from Florida

I thought I was just out of shape.

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(954): How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck? (1-954): I thought I was just out of shape. http://tfl.nu/t7eu

Replies (0) Good night (514) Bad night (430)

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