Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
