I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
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And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
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I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear