I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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