You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
