I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
