oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize