the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
