I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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