I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
