He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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