Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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