Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
