She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
