I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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