he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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