but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
