I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
