dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I deserve this hangover.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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