Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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