When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have feelings that need drinking.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
