I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So gin and wine won't be happening again
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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