I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
