Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
