# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
