I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
