Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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