You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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