I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
