I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
