OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
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I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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