she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
