READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
