I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
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hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
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Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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