The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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