You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The beer is more important than you right now.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
