does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We had to coat check the pizza.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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