his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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