How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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