My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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