This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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