i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
