Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
