She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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