why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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