physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
