glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
