I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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