i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize