dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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