I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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