Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
