Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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