Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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